NOTE: After the recent slap-stick postings, here is a foray into fiction/parody. And it comes on the heels of the news of Nick Saban's masterful recruiting tactic - using video-conferencing to meet with recruits once the NCAA banned him from going on Spring recruiting visits.
And yea, I've been watching a lot of old movies. Enjoy.
(PART II)
A Novella (to be adapted for the screen by BILLY WILDER)
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CAST:
Nick Saban (played by Paul Henreid)
Kevin Steele (played by Humphrey Bogart)
Terry Saban (played by Ingrid Bergman)
SEC Commissioner Mike Slive (played by Claude Rains)
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"THE LOST SPRING"
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ACT THREE
THE coach stood, perched against the wooden post in his office.
In came Steele, still in the dinner coat from the night before.
“Hello Steele. Get some sleep?”
“Don’t mind me, I’m fine. The Commissioner here yet?”
“I expect him shortly.”
“Well, I suspect I’ll sneak one in. Got a light?”
Before the words could even leave Steele’s mouth, the coach’s outreached left hand flashed the spark of a match, engulfing the tip of the cigarette in an instant.
“What’ll you suspect happens when he finds out?”
“I suspect he won’t like it.”
“And then what do you suspect will happen?”
“After that? Nothing.”
“Diabolical Nick, Diabolical.”
“Why thank you Steele.”
“Anytime.”
The coach paced to the window, his eyes focused ahead. “Why Steele, I believe we have company.”
In came the Commissioner, his look of displeasure poorly masked.
“Why here they are Commissioner,” said Terry, now in a spring hat and dress, attempting to make the strenuous situation as friendly as possible.
“Thank you Mrs. Saban,” said the Commissioner. “Hello Nick. Steele.”
“Commissioner,” said Steele, leaning against the desk in a half-sitting position and ashing his cigarette butt rather casually.
“How do you do Commissioner,” said the coach.
“Forgive my rudeness, but this is rather unprecedented,” said the Commissioner. “Why, may I ask, have I been summoned? I am, I’m afraid, rather busy.”
“Yes we know Commissioner. Aight, you’ve been quite busy pandering to that big-eared car salesman of yours. How goes things on that front Commissioner? I would have imagined I would have put him out of business by now.”
“Far from it,” said the Commissioner.
“Give it time Commissioner,” replied the coach. “Give it time.”
“Why Nick,” said Terry, going over to her husband’s side. “There’s no need for that sort of talk. This is a friendly meeting, isn’t it? Let’s keep it friendly.”
“It’s okay doll,” said the coach, his intense stare never once leaving the Commissioner’s unnerved eyes. “I don’t suspect it’ll stay friendly once the Commissioner finds out, aight, why I’ve brought him here.”
“And why is that Nick?” said the Commissioner.
“Commissioner, aight, I’ve brought you here to tell you something. Something important. Something I’m quite sure isn’t going to sit well in that meandering little belly of yours. Something quite dastardly, isn’t it Steele?”
“Dastardly indeed,” replied Steele, standing by the coach’s side, casting his own stare.
