EA Sports shelves plans for ‘Jordan Vs. Kobe’ video game

LOS ANGELES, Ca. (AP) –

Looks like Kobe Bryant’s quest for a legitimate NBA Championship ring wasn’t the only thing to come to a screeching halt Thursday night.

In an emergency midnight press release, plans for the upcoming EA video game Jordan Vs. Kobe have been shelved.

“We can no longer in good faith support this title,” said the release. “We apologize to our fans, the general public, and anyone who believed in the tremendous hype surrounding this game in the first place.”

Basketball fans were clamoring for a Summer game that would’ve matched the Lakers’ current regular-season superstar vs. the Chicago Bulls’ former regular-season and post-season superstar.

This Summer, as it turns out, they’ll have to wait. In line. Behind Batman die-hards, iPhone junkies, and Lakers fans itching for their first post-Shaq championship.

 

 

Coming straight from the Source

“We, uh, we have decided that this game is forever shelved,” said Gregory Hipe, VP of development for EA Sports, when reached for comment. “Everyone was signed on to this game. Stewart Scott, Mike Wilbon, Stephen A. Smith. We needed this game to pan out so bad. The NBA, ESPN, EA, all of us. We tried our best. It’s a shame.”

One EA Sports source, speaking under the condition of anonymity, agreed that rumors of the game were never legit, and were in fact the result of a concentrated agenda to push Bryant into the forefront of American sports lore and re-establish the NBA’s legitimacy. The source placed the blame squarely at the feet of the EA VP.

Hipe, according to the source, was “the only reason the Jordan Vs. Kobe game was ever discussed to begin with.”

 

Looking at the game itself

Jordan Vs. Kobe, meant to reference the popular 1980’s video game Jordan Vs. Bird (pictured), would have pitted Finals Legend Jordan against Semi-Finals legend Bryant in a series of one-on-one contests.

 The contest were to include slam dunk, 3-point shooting, fade-away jump shooting, clutch shooting, and the ChampionshipQuest, in which each player was put to the ultimate test – NBA Finals performance. Each game was won once the player achieved 21 points.

Players could unlock different versions of each player.

For instance, playing as Jordan, fans could unlock multiple versions of the legendary superstar. Examples included Gold-Chain Jordan®, Playoff Jordan®, Air Jordan®, ’89 Jordan®, Shoulder-Shrug Jordan®, Fadeaway Jordan®, 72-and-10 Jordan®, Finals Jordan®, Flu Jordan®, 4th Quarter Jordan®, Game-Winning Jordan®, I-Won-Three-Titles-With-Luc-Longley-At-Center Jordan®, and Chuck Norris Jordan®.

When playing as Bryant, fans could unlock Regular-Season Kobe®, A-Rod Kobe®, Barry-Bonds Kobe®, Dish-It-To-Shaq Kobe®, Horace Grant Kobe®, Toni Kukoc Kobe®, Dwayne Wade Kobe®, Hotel-Concierge Kobe®, Let-Horry-Shoot-It Kobe®, Demand-Shaq-to-be-Traded Kobe®, Demand-Myself-To-Be-Traded Kobe®, One-Upped-by-Paul-Pierce Kobe®, Blame-It-On-The-Refs Kobe®, and 6-for-19 Kobe®. 

Game sparks Championship debate 

Jordan Vs. Kobe was reportedly to culminate in a Championship Finals showdown between the two. 

During his career, Jordan was unstoppable in the Finals, topping 30 points a record 25 times, and besting legendary Hall-of-Famers Magic Johnson, James Worthy, Clyde Drexler, Charles Barkley, as well as the legendary Hall-of-Fame duo John Stockton and Karl Malone (twice).

In his 35 Finals appearances, he led the Bulls in scoring an astounding 32 times (91.4%). 

By comparison, Bryant has led the Lakers in scoring 7 times in 24 Finals games (29.2%). 

Bryant has however topped the 30-point plateau six times in the NBA Finals. Which becomes even more impressive considering Jordan topped the 40-point plateau in the Finals seven times. 

But still, many comparisons between the two are very close. For instance, Jordan’s career NBA Finals scoring average of 33.6 PPG is only two points above Bryant’s 2008 Game 4 shooting percentage of 31.6%. 

Game’s cancellation salt-in-the-wound for Lakers fans? 

The cancellation of the game comes as bleak news for Lakers fans. It’s now been six long years since Shaquille O’Neal put the team on his back and carried them to three straight NBA Championships. O’Neal earned three consecutive NBA Finals MVPs in 2000, 2001 and 2002, averaging 38.0, 33.0, and 36.3 points a game respectively, while dominating the boards. 

Still, it wasn’t all Shaq. While playing alongside Shaq, Bryant reached the 30-point plateau in the Finals four times, giving him three more 30-point Finals performances than Toni Kukoc. Who also has three NBA Championship rings. 

Jordan Vs. Kobe. Simulated. 

On Friday morning, a copy of the game was leaked to the press. After beating the game and unlocking all of the secret players, we were able to conduct a number of computer simulations. Versions of Jordan were 2,048-1 against versions of Kobe. 

The one version of Jordan Kobe was able to beat? Wizards-Jordan®. 

However Wizards-Jordan® was later able to redeem himself by beating The-40-Year-Old-Rapist Kobe® by a score of 21-to-dousche. 

But, in a Bulls jersey, virtual Jordan proved unbeatable, as Kobe suffered crushing defeats to One-Legged Jordan®, One-Eyed Jordan®, One-Legged-One-Eyed Jordan®, No-Eyes Jordan®, Legless Jordan®, Shoeless Jordan®, Shoeless Joe Jordan®, Headless Jordan®, Bodyless Jordan®, Jordanless Jordan®, Mini-Ditka Jordan®, Flu-Jordan®, Malaria Jordan®, Parkinsons Jordan®, Paralysis Jordan®, HIV Jordan®, AIDS Jordan®, Dead-From-AIDS-Jordan®, Corpse-Jordan®, Skeletal-Remains Jordan®, Ashes-In-A-Vase Jordan®, Swayze-in-Ghost Jordan®, Chavez Spirit-World Jordan®, Mummy-Jordan®, Zombie-Jordan® and Reincarnate-as-a-Blade-of-Grass Jordan.®

Comments

[tom]

hahaha. Kobe Sucks

[Kobe haters suck]

So all of a sudden, the rings aren't "legitimate" because he did not win Finals MVP? Kobe played a VERY instrumental role in that 3-peat and only blind haters like the moron who started this blog can't see that.

[Blog Starter]

Hey Captain Sensitive,

Kobe deserves SOME credit for those rings. He was a member of the team.

In the 2000 NBA Finals, here is Kobe's stat line:

Game 1: 14
Game 2: 2
Game 3: DNP
Game 4: 28
Game 5: 8
Game 6: 26

To be fair, he left Game 2 in the first half with an ankle injury. (The Lakers still won. Thanks to Shaq's 40-point, 24-rebound performance.)

Kobe's average for the series? 15.1 PPG. The Lakers won the Title primarily because Shaq averaged 38 PPG and dominated the series.

Here is Toni Kukoc's stat line from the 1998 Finals:

Game 1: 9
Game 2: 13
Game 3: 16
Game 4: 8
Game 5: 30
Game 6: 15

Kukoc's average for the series? 15.2 PPG.

The Bulls won the title primarily because Michael Jordan averaged 33.5 PPG and dominated the series.

-----

Even on the later title teams, Kobe was Penny Hardaway. A talented compliment to Shaq and nothing more.

Shaq had the heart and will of a champion, as does Dwayne Wade. Kobe has yet to show it.

This article goes overboard, and it's meant for jokes. But the people who are blind are the people who watch Sportscenter and let them tell you this over-hyped clown is on a level with Michaal Fucking Jordan.

Is Kobe the best player in today's NBA? Maybe.

But so far, he isn't even the best player in the 2008 Finals.

[Truth hurts]

The truly great players put their team on their backs.

The only thing Kobe can put on his back are women who don't want to have sex with him.

[The Nature Boy]

Hey Gump you forgot

"Ray Finkle Kobe"

[lol @ kobe]

HMMM LETS SEE PIPPEN 6 TITLES AS SIDEKICK KOBE ONLY 3 AS A SIDEKICK. PIPPEN > KOBE

[lol jordan.]

I'm going to laugh at this fucking clown author when lakers win it all this year.

Jordan was a whiny bitch who was the refs darling.

[WTF?]

Jordan was a whiny bitch?!?!?!

Dude. Seriously. Put the crack pipe down...did you ever see Jordan play? The dude may well be whiny but, he is definitely NO ONE'S bitch...

Here's the truth-

Jordan=the insane basketball playing product of Nick Saban knowing Wonder Woman carnally. It happened...96,000 NBA Champ. Rings witness the truth.

[jwilde]

Contrary to popular belief, Michael Jordan was not an infallible God when it came to playing basketball. He failed his fair share of times and had poor games where his teammates helped him to overcome them and win games.

He won the Finals MVP award in 96 while averaging 27.3 ppg and 4.2 apg on 41.5% shooting. Included in those games was a 23-point game where he shot 6-for-19 (that sounds awful familiar, considering that's what Kobe shot in Game 4) in a 21-point loss.

Kobe is averaging 26.4 ppg and 4.8 apg on 42.2% shooting in this series.

^^ Is that egg on your face Jordan Homrers?

Lakers in 7.

[Chris]

Wow....while Kobe is certainly NOT Michael Jordan (he's even admitted so himself, removing clothing to prove he's not secretly wearing a Bulls jersey underneath), he is probably the single greatest player in the NBA right now. That being said, he is NOT the greatest player in the NBA finals right now. That's Paul Pierce. Why? Well...to be fair to Kobe, it's because he can't get a clear shot. Boston is playing lock-down defense on Kobe, and I think he realizes he can't get those shots. So, he defers to Sasha "look at my feathered and beautiful hair, oops I just made a 3-pointer at the end of the game, even though we were already up by five" Vujacic, Lamar Odom, or Pau Gasol. And, finally...finally, Odom and Gasol came up big in game five. Why, you ask? Because...Perkins wasn't playing, Powe played five minutes, and Garnett was in foul trouble early thanks to some dumb reach-in fouls on his part. So, congrats to the Lakers. You beat a big-man reduced Boston team, that nearly beat you again by mounting a comeback in the fourth quarter. You know what, scratch that. You didn't beat a Boston team...you beat Paul Pierce. Because he almost single handedly has dismantled the Lakers by knifing through that Lakers "defense". At least Vujacic's hair was bouncy and beautiful as Pierce walked right by him, delivering an easy lay-up.

So, yes...Kobe is good. But until he and the Lakers understand how to play defense, he'll still be stuck with three rings. They may prove me wrong and shutdown Boston in game 6 and 7, but...I wouldn't put money on it. I'd bet Kobe continues to be the Lakers version of Bo Jackson - incredible player on a not so incredible team. Got twelve?

[Realistically...]

No Jordan homer...HUGE Laker fan. HOWEVER, the numbers don't lie.

Career stats:

Kobe:
25 ppg
4.6 apg
.463 fg%
.829 ft%
5.8 rpg

Jordan:
30.1 ppg
5.3 apg
.495 fg%
.839 ft%
6.2 rpg

[GUMP]

Nice try Mr. Wilde. While the '96 Finals was definitely the worst individual performance Jordan had, your example fails.

The Bulls were up 3-0 going into that game. And Seattle was at home desperately trying to save face. COMPLETELY different scenario than Kobe, trying to save his team, at home, with the series on the line.

MJ would have never allowed his team to blow a 24-point lead at home in a must-win game. And for Kobe to shoot 6-19 and only score 17 points? Legacy took a hit, and nearly everyone agrees.

In 1993, when Jordan was 30 (Kobe's age), he averaged 41.0 PPG and led the Bulls to a 4-2 series win over a great Phoenix Suns team.

You compare Jordan at his Finals worst to Kobe at his Finals best, and Jordan's scoring average is STILL HIGHER.

Kobe at his worst turned in a horrid Finals performance in '04, shooting in the 30-something percent range and rolling over while the Pistons won in 5.

Plus, the Bulls easily won the '96 Finals (got a little lackadaisical after going up 3-0). But the Lakers are LOSING this Finals. So Jordan did what he does best, WON. 6-0 in the Finals.

The odds are WAY against the Lakers to win twice in a row in Boston, where they're 0-3 this season and where the Celtics are Infinity-1 this year.

Paul Pierce has out-dueled and outperformed Kobe all series, including Game 5. Ray Allen has been more clutch. Kobe is a great player, but not what his fanboys make him out to be.

Not Michael Jordan. Not even close.

[Chris]

You know, let's be fair. While Kobe's individual performances in the playoffs throughout his career is nowhere near as impressive as Jordan's, much like Football, Basketball is a team game. Just because you have a Kobe, Jordan, Tom Brady, or a Brett Favre, does not precipitate a championship. It takes a total and complete team effort to achieve greatness. The Lakers didn't have it. One can make the argument that next year, with Bynum returning at Center and Gasol moving back to his normal position of Forward, the Lakers will be a much better team. We'll see. That being said - the Lakers couldn't do it with Shaq, Karl Malone, and Gary Payton....so, who's to say they're going to do so with the current team? I say Celtics repeat next year. Lakers may be a much harder team to beat with Bynum at Center, but get him into foul trouble, and they'll lose by 30 points or more...again.

[GUMP]

Well, I'm certainly not being fair to Kobe. Fair doesn't cut it in the blogging world, and he's a professional athlete who makes millions, so I can take of the hand-cuffs I wear in college athletics, and let loose.

I exaggerate, and Kobe is a great INDIVIDUAL player. But I do believe he is a gimmick, to an extent.

He's not as good as they tell us he is (there is NO arguing that after the sub sub-par Finals. None.)

He hasn't won anything, while in a position of leadership, to warrant the kind of praise he receives.

He constantly seems to be finger-pointing in the clutch, both on the bench and off it.

He doesn't get the best from those around him. Before this Series, the Lakers were the clear favorite in Vegas, ESPN was talking up their "deeper" bench, their supporting cast was in place, etc.

When the Lakers got Gasol, and some younger players stepped up, everyone said Kobe had who he needed around him to win.

Now, after the Finals, Kobe apologists are back on the one-man team wagon.

Uh huh. The Lakers have plenty of talent.

In '98, Jordan put the Bulls on his back. Pippen was hurt, and Rodman, though still a contributer, had long ago mentally clocked out ('97). Kukoc stepped up HUGE in a couple of games, but was inconsistent as always. Ron Harper was underrated, and a D. Fisher-like role player.

Who else did he have? Longley? Kerr? Randy Brown? Jud Buechler? Scott Burrel?

Scrubs. At best.

In Game 6, with Pippen basically worthless thanks to a back injury, Jordan scored 45 of the Bulls 87 points (53%) to single-handedly deliver Chicago a 6th title.

When has Kobe ever even remotely come close to such feats? Other than his regular season A-Rod prowess, I've never seen it.

One of the greatest scorers ever can get shut down by Paul Pierce? I don't buy it. Jordan regularly got by All-Time defensive greats like Gary Payton & Joe Dumars, and beat constant triple and double teams.

He scorched one of the greatest teams ever with 63 points in a playoff game as a 23-year old (Lebron's age).

Kobe is too much HYPE, not enough substance. And until he leads a team to a title on his own, I'm not sold.

Kobe is a talented fraud. People looking for the next great athlete should look on the golf course, not the basketball court.

[dirkdajerk]

just wondering if anyone has KB MJ stats just when KB was a starter and without MJ few yrs with the wizards..

[concierge]

Thanks for bringing this to my attention - I’ve reviewed it myself now. A very enjoyable read