Poems from the Heart (Of ALABAMA football coaches)

Gump4Heisman.com

-- A SERIOUS NOTE: This post goes out to – and was inspired by – my homeboy “Drew in Mobile” and his father, who are prepping for serious surgery as we speak. Drew, you’ve always been a huge supporter of the site, and all of our readers’ thoughts and prayers are with you. When your dad is all better, maybe this can help you two share a chuckle. Roll Tide. --

(Also... Thanks to 'TM' for the quick history lesson)

Without further ado, here is a collection of Gump4Heisman’s poetry. Alabama football coach style.

“Call me Run DMC cause yo' I Started It All” by Wallace Wade

In 1926, I took ‘Bama on a train to the west,
To prove to the nation the Tide was the best.
We won the ’26 Rose and the ’31 too,
And made football in the South, for us & for you.

But think, when you read all these next rhymes,
I won the National Title three different times.
So I don’t want to have to hear any more crap,
About how it was “Bear” who put ‘Bama on the map.

“Don't make ol' Frank put the Big Hurt on Ya” by Frank Thomas

When it comes to Championship rings, I won me a pair,
But all everyone knows is that I coached “the Bear.”
So I mentored ol’ Bryant and taught him this and that,
But you'd think he was the first guy to ever wear a hat.

Yea, I know some 'Bama fans think of me and forget,
Who I am as a coach and which National titles I split,
And I know some Auburn fans say my ’41 ring isn’t legit,
But on the topic of rings: since when does Auburn know shit?

“O-Fer” By Ears Whitworth

Hey everybody, it’s your good buddy Ears,
Y’know, the goofy lookin’ guy with all the losin’ years.
I lost about as much as the other guys won,
But back in the day, my players sure had fun.

I was a shitty bad coach, I'll admit that’s a fact,
I kept playing Auburn, and I kept getting smacked.
So when ‘Bama has a bad coach, it should be understood,
That is the only way Auburn can ever be any good.