Nick Saban’s Top 10 Ways to Stop Darren McFadden

Gump4Heisman.com

10) Invite Darren McFadden over to my lair for dinner Friday night. Order indentured servants to bring out main course. Just as it is being brought out, reach under dinner table and hit button to ‘Release the Hounds.’

Let hounds run him until he has nothing left in the tank.

9) Travel back in time. As coach of the Miami Dolphins, assure McFadden that I will trade up to take him early in the draft. Tell him he is our #1 guy. Tell him he is great. Roll eyes. Tell him he is unbelievable. Look at watch. Tell him he is exactly what we need.

Wait for him to declare for NFL draft and sign with an agent.

Then take the Alabama job.

8) Pray.

To myself.