Rich Rodriguez's Letter to West Virginia

--------

Dear West Virgina,

Why?

Why do you expect me to pay the full payout?  Why, West Virgina?  Because I agreed to? Shit, West Virgina. Shit.

Did you notice that West Virgina?

Did you notice how I took out the last ‘I’ in Virginia to make your name sound like a feminine body part that males often use to describe a lack of male-iness in other males?

Huh? Did you notice?

Did you notice how fucking clever I am? The Oklahoma Pooners. See? I can even do it for other schools too. The Syracuse Pink. The Illinois Fighting Va-JJ. The Virginia Tech MassiveSmellyPussyBoys. The Oregon State Beavers.

I have massive intellect. I have intellect the size of my balls. And my balls are huge. Just like my wife’s credit limit. And her perm. And her balls.

Speaking of balls, have you seen the size of my chin? It is fucking massive. I am manly as shit. I can turn anything into a vagina. When I stand next to an actual vagina, it becomes even more of a vagina. Next to me, Bruce Campbell looks like a fucking raisin-chin. Most people take uppercuts on the chin. I can dish them out with my chin. And I will upper-chin-cut the fuck out of you West Virgina.